The Haunted House
by Zelin Danica Nynaeve Ni'karin
Summary: Elayne and Egwene also known as TPWIIWGAG and DW... and a new chapter is up.
1. Default Chapter

Robert Jordan owns WoT. I am not Robert Jordan (thankfully). Put the two together.  
  
The Haunted House- an MST  
  
We see Elayne and Egwene sitting on a park beach in a stedding.  
  
Egwene: can…not…channel, she rips her hair out  
  
Elayne: beginning … to… hallucinate  
  
Egwene: (suddenly curious) what do you see  
  
Elayne: Rand…  
  
Egwene: eew… this is going to be scary isn't it  
  
Elayne: I am forced to like him…  
  
Egwene: your not the first one. My sympathy  
  
Elayne: shut up and let me get on with this.  
  
Egwene: Kay  
  
Elyane: well…  
  
WOOSH (they are transported into Elayne's story)  
  
Egwene looks around her: not bad, we're in Two Rivers  
  
Elayne: I JUST GOT DIRT ON MY SHOE  
  
Egwene: shut up or I'll un-shaw you. We're going to see my dad, the MAYOR of Two Rivers  
  
Elayne: and he is WHAT to two Aes Sedai, one the Amrilyn Seat and the other (smiles) the daughter heir of Andor  
  
Egwene: shut up  
  
Elayne: (sniffs) fine  
  
Egwene rushes towards her house, and abruptly bumps in the painted backdrop  
  
Elayne: hehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe (sniffs)  
  
Egwene: (picking herself up) he who? Rand?  
  
Elayne shuts up.  
  
Egwene (talking to the air): ALRIGHT! Who did this cruel thing?  
  
MDV: me  
  
Elayne: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK  
  
MDV: did she say eek or ick?  
  
Egwene: no clue  
  
MDV: kay  
  
Egwene: have you noticed we're all using the same words?  
  
MDV: your not supposed to notice that  
  
Egwene: oh. Why is this thing so plotless  
  
MDV: aka your not supposed to notice that either  
  
Egwene: oh. Why is this so *****?  
  
MDV: I had nothing better to do  
  
Egwene: HEY I JUST GOT CENSORED  
  
MDV: this is lala land or telatuby land. It is a childern's show, your not allowed to cuss  
  
Egwene: why?  
  
MDV shrugs: parents have the misguided idea that kids don't know them at the age of five  
  
Egwene: say isn't Lala, one of the characters, (pauses searching for an uncensorable word) happy?  
  
MDV: How do YOU know that?  
  
Elayne comes bouncing up at the mention of Telatubies: oh, your talking about my FAVORITE SHOW telatubies. Today Lala…  
  
MDV: (winces) that is quite enough Elayne. Now you will become the DW  
  
DW (frowns): the DW? What's that mean?  
  
MDV: Dragon's Wife  
  
Egwene: and I am?  
  
MDV thinks for a moment and then grins evilly: LL  
  
Egwene: LL?  
  
MDV: Lala  
  
Egwene: you are cruel  
  
MDV: just joking. Your TPWIIWGAG  
  
TPWIIWGAG: WHAT?!!!!  
  
MDV: The Person Who Is Infuated With Gawyn And Galad  
  
TPWIIWGAG: I would cry but I know that you won't type that out everytime  
  
MDV: meet the copy & paste button see: TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG TPWIIWGAG  
  
TPWIIWGAG: EEP!  
  
MDV: haha  
  
TPWIIWGAG sobs.  
  
MDV: back to the story:  
  
DW and TPWIIWGAG are in DR's house. The parting words of the MDV are: to get away from here you must conforont the horrible monster who lives here  
  
TPWIIWGAG (sarcastically): maybe 'tis Rand  
  
TPWIIWGAG is mysteriously smacked on the bottom  
  
DW: guess we're supposed to call him the DW  
  
TPWIIWGAG: did you figure that out all by yourself?  
  
DW: yah. AREN'T I SMART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
TPWIIWGAG: no  
  
DW: am I being insulted  
  
TPWIIWGAG: no I just complmented you.  
  
Why they are arguing the Rand-o-monster sees the chance to get rid of two young Aes Sedai. He is prompted by the Kinslayer-Lews-Monster.  
  
The Rand-o-Monster kills TPWIIWGAG and DW (whom he ripped to pieces). Everyone lives happily ever after because soon after Rand dies of guilt.  
  
9000 years later (or earilier if you go by the 'wheel' concept)  
  
Lews Therin was channeling when he heard a voice in his head. It sceamed:  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo  
  
TTPPWWIIIIWWGGAAGG.  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
  
  
Like? No like? REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Hot Tempers

Part Two-  
  
I am NOT Robert Jordan. I do NOT own the WoT. Sue me; go ahead.  
  
As I didn't explain before, all the WoT characters are in a Grove, cause they're at Loial's wedding. Let us skip to our favorite hot-tempered friends: the falcon, Nynaeve, Cadsuane, Windfinders and Cyduane. They all are Loial's bride's maids for some strange reason.  
  
Faile: I'm ALLERGIC to flowers! I CAN'T carry flowers.  
  
Cyduane (viciously): isn't that just too bad  
  
Nynaeve walks up.  
  
Nynaeve: erm… hi Zarine and last-chance  
  
Faile and Cyduane: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR… WHAT DID YOU JUST BLOODY CALL US  
  
Nynaeve: sorry, author's orders  
  
Cadsuane: not again; WHY MUST I WORK WITH THE MOST IDIOTIC GUY ON THE PLANET  
  
Windfinders: stop wasting time; come teach us scum  
  
Faile: oh, that insane Jordan guy again  
  
Cyduane: the one that made me fall in love with that ugly Therin guy?  
  
Nynaeve: I guess so  
  
Suddenly all characters, except Nynaeve are whipped.  
  
All characters, except Nynaeve: OWIE!!!  
  
MDV appears.  
  
MDV: cool. Today since I'm lazy, Nynaeve will be the admin  
  
Nyn: and that means what  
  
MDV: you are omnipotent; you can torture people in any way, and rename them  
  
Nyn: this could be fun…  
  
MDV: it will be  
  
Nyn: bwahahahahahaha. And now, where's Elayne  
  
MDV: she is unavailable. I took her for my own torture methods  
  
Nyn: * sigh *, oh well  
  
MDV: have fun. Bye-bye.  
  
Faile: NO WAIT!!!!!  
  
Nyn: shut up Faile  
  
Faile: no I wil…  
  
Faile finds her mouth glued together.  
  
Nyn: ok, first things first. Cadsuane, give me all your angreals, sa'angreals, and te'angreals  
  
Cadsuane: NEVER, I am protected by the power; you will never get me NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nyn: I think Rand is starting to infect you with insanity; give me them.  
  
Cadsuane: DIE, EVERYONE DIES. THE MADNESS, I WELCOME IT BWAHAHAHAHA  
  
Nyn: the stuff please  
  
Cadsuane: NO ILLEYNA WHAT HAVE I DONE????!!!!!!  
  
Nyn: we need mental therapy here. *snaps her fingers* NOW  
  
Some physiatrists walk in.  
  
Physiatrists: what seems to be the problem?  
  
Nyn points: her  
  
Cadsuane is doing an evil chuckle.  
  
Physiatrists: ummmmm…. She is beyond help. What happened to her?  
  
Nyn: too much time with the DR  
  
Physiatrists nod. K, bye. They disappear.  
  
Nyn looks at Cadsuane: she will be TPWSTMTWTDRAIJOEMAA  
  
Faile: what the ****  
  
Nyn: naughty, naughty  
  
Nyn whips Faile  
  
Nyn: by the way, that means The Person Who Spends Too Much Time With The Dragon Reborn And Is Jealous Of Elayne Min And Aviendha  
  
Faile: eew  
  
Nyn: you are TPWDNTWP  
  
TPWDNTWP: dare I ask?  
  
Nyn: it means the person who does naughty things with perrin  
  
TPWDNTWP: and you sensored ME? Besides we're married  
  
Nyn: whatever you say… Zarine  
  
TPWDNTWP: NO!!!! ANYTHING BUT ZARINE!!!!  
  
Nyn: ok then…  
  
Nyn: Bow, Windfinders  
  
Windfinders: What?! Nynaeve!!!!!!  
  
Nyn: You are not on a first name basis with me. You will call me, O'Most Omnipotent. Bow. Now.  
  
Nyn: Avi, you shall now be FSOE. A.k.a. First sister of Elayne  
  
FSOE: eeee…. How cruel.  
  
Nyn: and Cyduane will be LWCEGR2LH  
  
LWCEGR2LH: dare I ask Nynaeve  
  
Nyn whips LWCEGR2LH.  
  
Nyn: you are NOT on a first name basis with me! It means Loser Who Can't Even Get Rand 2 Love Her  
  
LWCEGR2LH hurls herself at Nyn.  
  
LWCEGR2LH: eeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuulllllliiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!  
  
Most Omnipotent: wrong book  
  
LWCEGR2LH: woops.  
  
Nyn: Lets try that again  
  
Nyn: you are NOT on a first name basis with me! It means Loser Who Can't Even Get Rand 2 Love Her  
  
LWCEGR2LH hurls herself at Nyn.  
  
LWCEGR2LH: for the GREAT LORD OF THE DAAARRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKK  
  
Nyn: now for today's entertainment…  
  
Everyone is magically transported to the Pit of Doom  
  
LWCEGR2LH: home sweet home  
  
Nyn: whatever.  
  
GlotD: WHAT DO YOU WANT HERE  
  
Nyn: you know  
  
GlotD: I DEMAND YOU TELL ME  
  
Nyn: I wish you to get back in your hole  
  
GlotD: BUT IT'S BBORING THERE  
  
Nyn: NOW!  
  
GlotD: AND PEOPLE SAY I'M EVIL, AND THEN THEY COME AND KICK ME IN A BORING HOLE FOR 3000 YEARS, GETTING BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING THE WHOLE TIME  
  
Nyn: I'm warning you  
  
GlotD: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Nyn: I'm counting to three. 1, 2…  
  
The DO scurries back in his bore.  
  
Last Chance: mmmmmmmmmmasssssstttttttttttterrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!  
  
Nyn: wehe. I love the compulsion weave  
  
Nyn turns to the reader and weaves compulsion…  
  
Nyn: REVIEW! 


End file.
